Wednesday, May 13, 2009
To Boldly Go . . .
The greatest adventure of all time begins with "Star Trek," the incredible story of a young crew's maiden voyage onboard the most advanced starship ever created: the U.S.S. Enterprise. On a journey filled with action, comedy and cosmic peril, the new recruits must find a way to stop an evil being whose mission of vengeance threatens all of mankind. The fate of the galaxy rests in the hands of bitter rivals. One, James T. Kirk, is a delinquent, thrill-seeking Iowa farm boy. The other, Spock, was raised in a logic-based society that rejects all emotion. As fiery instinct clashes with calm reason, their unlikely but powerful partnership is the only thing capable of leading their crew through unimaginable danger, boldly going where no one has gone before!
RELEASE DATE
05/07/2009 - Nationwide
RUN TIME:
2 hrs. 6 min.
MPAA RATING:
(PG-13 ), for sci-fi action and violence and brief sexual content
GENRE:
SciFi/Fantasy
STARRING:
John Cho, Ben Cross, Bruce Greenwood, Simon Pegg, Chris Pine
DIRECTOR(S):
J.J. Abrams
PRODUCER(S):
J.J. Abrams, Stratton Leopold, Damon Lindelof
WRITER(S):
Eric Jendresen, Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, J.J. Abrams, Gene Roddenberry
STUDIO:
Paramount Pictures
RELEASE DATE
05/07/2009 - Nationwide
RUN TIME:
2 hrs. 6 min.
MPAA RATING:
(PG-13 ), for sci-fi action and violence and brief sexual content
GENRE:
SciFi/Fantasy
STARRING:
John Cho, Ben Cross, Bruce Greenwood, Simon Pegg, Chris Pine
DIRECTOR(S):
J.J. Abrams
PRODUCER(S):
J.J. Abrams, Stratton Leopold, Damon Lindelof
WRITER(S):
Eric Jendresen, Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, J.J. Abrams, Gene Roddenberry
STUDIO:
Paramount Pictures
Saturday, May 9, 2009
A New Direction for 'Star Trek'
A New Direction for 'Star Trek'
by Matt McDaniel
May 7th, 2009 Director J.J. Abrams put himself in a perilous position when he agreed to direct a new movie version of "Star Trek." On one side, he had the fans. They had embraced a short-lived science fiction television show from the 1960s and, through sheer affection and determination, turned it into a worldwide institution. But in addition to being fiercely loyal, Trekkies can be finicky (for example, if you call them that, rather than "Trekkers"). The television shows, movies, books, graphic novels and video games have weaved together a dense history, or canon, and the hardcore fans reject any attempt to violate the already established continuity.
On the other side of the equation, Abrams had a public that had grown increasingly disinterested in the "Trek" universe. The last movie, 2002's "Star Trek: Nemesis," was the least successful of the 10-film series, bringing in only $43 million in the U.S. And with the cancellation of "Star Trek: Enterprise" in 2005, TV screens were without an ongoing series for the first time in nearly 20 years.
For Abrams and screenwriters Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman (who also wrote "Transformers"), the goal was to find that elusive middle ground that would bring a mass audience to "Star Trek" without offending the faithful. And it was a big bet, too, with a budget estimated at $150 million -- about one-and-a-half times the gross of the most successful of the previous films. So to create a blockbuster from the franchise that had basically defined the term "cult classic," the creators of this new movie knew they had to shake up the formula of what went into a "Trek" movie. Here are five things they did differently than previous "Star Trek" adventures.
1. Start at the Beginning
The first episode of "Star Trek" that aired on TV already had the chain of command aboard the USS Enterprise pretty well established. Kirk was captain, Spock was his number two, and their friendship was already firm. The writers decided that the untold story of how the crew came together could not only show fans something they haven't seen before, but give audiences who were unfamiliar with "Trek" a fresh starting point.
2. Skew younger
William Shatner was 35 years old when he first sat in the captain's chair on the original series. But that made him 48 when he returned to the role in the first movie, and 63 during his final appearance in "Star Trek: Generations." Chris Pine, the new Captain Kirk, is only 28. Along with the other younger actors (except for John Cho, who is actually older than George Takei was when he first played Sulu), this cast brings a freshness and vitality that the movies never had.
3. Pick up the pace
Following the pattern of the original show, the "Trek" movies often had long stretches of dialogue and discussion between action scenes. In fact, the first movie was derisively called "Star Trek: The Slow-Motion Picture" by some critics. Abrams says that as a kid he was more a fan of "Star Wars," and he credits the faster and more intense tempo of that series as the reason. So for his version, he has taken the space battles, fist fights, and even slapstick moments that have been part of "Trek" from the beginning, but speeds them up and packs them together to make his film a more thrilling ride.
4. Update the look
For the new film, the exterior of the Enterprise looks very familiar, albeit rendered in the most advanced digital special effects available. But inside, everything has been updated. From the bridge to the engine room, the ship is bright, sleek, and modern. The transporter and the viewscreen have been enhanced (though many of the classic sound effects can still be heard). Moreover, the visual texture of the movie is different. The camera sweeps and shakes to create a greater sense of immediacy, putting you right in the action.
5. Break away from the past
With all these changes, it seemed like Abrams and company were setting themselves up to be hated by the original fans. But with a bit of storytelling sleight-of-hand, they've been able to chart their own course without violating the series' long and well-documented history. How? The same way Kirk and Spock saved the Earth in "Star Trek IV" -- time travel. When the Romulan villain Nero, played by Eric Bana, is accidentally thrust backwards in time, he resets the past. By shifting the course of time, events play out in new and unexpected ways. Rather than the standard prequel, where the audience knows how the story turns out, this movie creates its own history without violating the established one the fans have loved.
What's important to note, though, is one element from Gene Roddenberry's original creation that still carries through into J.J. Abrams' new vision. And that is a sense of optimism for the future. So many science fiction epics take place in dystopian wastelands where technology only leads to destruction. "Star Trek" envisions a better outcome for humanity, where the Earth has united to explore the final frontier. And that's a dream that is as important to embrace and celebrate now as it's ever been.
by Matt McDaniel
May 7th, 2009 Director J.J. Abrams put himself in a perilous position when he agreed to direct a new movie version of "Star Trek." On one side, he had the fans. They had embraced a short-lived science fiction television show from the 1960s and, through sheer affection and determination, turned it into a worldwide institution. But in addition to being fiercely loyal, Trekkies can be finicky (for example, if you call them that, rather than "Trekkers"). The television shows, movies, books, graphic novels and video games have weaved together a dense history, or canon, and the hardcore fans reject any attempt to violate the already established continuity.
On the other side of the equation, Abrams had a public that had grown increasingly disinterested in the "Trek" universe. The last movie, 2002's "Star Trek: Nemesis," was the least successful of the 10-film series, bringing in only $43 million in the U.S. And with the cancellation of "Star Trek: Enterprise" in 2005, TV screens were without an ongoing series for the first time in nearly 20 years.
For Abrams and screenwriters Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman (who also wrote "Transformers"), the goal was to find that elusive middle ground that would bring a mass audience to "Star Trek" without offending the faithful. And it was a big bet, too, with a budget estimated at $150 million -- about one-and-a-half times the gross of the most successful of the previous films. So to create a blockbuster from the franchise that had basically defined the term "cult classic," the creators of this new movie knew they had to shake up the formula of what went into a "Trek" movie. Here are five things they did differently than previous "Star Trek" adventures.
1. Start at the Beginning
The first episode of "Star Trek" that aired on TV already had the chain of command aboard the USS Enterprise pretty well established. Kirk was captain, Spock was his number two, and their friendship was already firm. The writers decided that the untold story of how the crew came together could not only show fans something they haven't seen before, but give audiences who were unfamiliar with "Trek" a fresh starting point.
2. Skew younger
William Shatner was 35 years old when he first sat in the captain's chair on the original series. But that made him 48 when he returned to the role in the first movie, and 63 during his final appearance in "Star Trek: Generations." Chris Pine, the new Captain Kirk, is only 28. Along with the other younger actors (except for John Cho, who is actually older than George Takei was when he first played Sulu), this cast brings a freshness and vitality that the movies never had.
3. Pick up the pace
Following the pattern of the original show, the "Trek" movies often had long stretches of dialogue and discussion between action scenes. In fact, the first movie was derisively called "Star Trek: The Slow-Motion Picture" by some critics. Abrams says that as a kid he was more a fan of "Star Wars," and he credits the faster and more intense tempo of that series as the reason. So for his version, he has taken the space battles, fist fights, and even slapstick moments that have been part of "Trek" from the beginning, but speeds them up and packs them together to make his film a more thrilling ride.
4. Update the look
For the new film, the exterior of the Enterprise looks very familiar, albeit rendered in the most advanced digital special effects available. But inside, everything has been updated. From the bridge to the engine room, the ship is bright, sleek, and modern. The transporter and the viewscreen have been enhanced (though many of the classic sound effects can still be heard). Moreover, the visual texture of the movie is different. The camera sweeps and shakes to create a greater sense of immediacy, putting you right in the action.
5. Break away from the past
With all these changes, it seemed like Abrams and company were setting themselves up to be hated by the original fans. But with a bit of storytelling sleight-of-hand, they've been able to chart their own course without violating the series' long and well-documented history. How? The same way Kirk and Spock saved the Earth in "Star Trek IV" -- time travel. When the Romulan villain Nero, played by Eric Bana, is accidentally thrust backwards in time, he resets the past. By shifting the course of time, events play out in new and unexpected ways. Rather than the standard prequel, where the audience knows how the story turns out, this movie creates its own history without violating the established one the fans have loved.
What's important to note, though, is one element from Gene Roddenberry's original creation that still carries through into J.J. Abrams' new vision. And that is a sense of optimism for the future. So many science fiction epics take place in dystopian wastelands where technology only leads to destruction. "Star Trek" envisions a better outcome for humanity, where the Earth has united to explore the final frontier. And that's a dream that is as important to embrace and celebrate now as it's ever been.
NBA, Olympic coach Chuck Daly dies at 78
NBA, Olympic coach Chuck Daly dies at 78
AP – File - Detroit Pistons head coach Chuck Daly
yells instructions from the sidelines during game four against … .By LARRY LAGE, AP Sports Writer Larry Lage, Ap Sports Writer – 44 mins ago
DETROIT – Chuck Daly, who coached the original Dream Team to the Olympic gold medal in 1992 after winning back-to-back NBA championships with the Detroit Pistons, has died. He was 78.
He died Saturday morning in Jupiter, Fla., with his family by his side, the team said.The Pistons announced in March that the Hall of Fame coach had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and was undergoing treatment.
He was renowned for his ability to create harmony out of diverse personalities at all levels of the game, whether they were Ivy Leaguers at Pennsylvania, Dream Teamers Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley, or Pistons as dissimilar as Dennis Rodman and Joe Dumars.
"It's a players' league. They allow you to coach them or they don't," Daly once said. "Once they stop allowing you to coach, you're on your way out."
Daly was voted one of the 10 greatest coaches of the NBA's first half-century in 1996, two years after being inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame. He was the first coach to win both an NBA title and Olympic gold.
"I think Chuck understood people as well as basketball," former Pistons guard Joe Dumars told The Associated Press in 1995. "It's a people business."
Doug Collins, a former Detroit Pistons and Chicago Bulls coach, learned the intricacies of the game from Daly.
"He was a man of incredible class and dignity. He was a mentor and a friend," Collins said. "He taught me so much and was always so supportive of me and my family. I loved him and will miss him."
Daly had a golden touch at the Barcelona Games with NBA superstars Magic Johnson, Jordan, Larry Bird and Barkley, using a different lineup in every game.
"I played against Chuck's teams throughout the NBA for a lot of years. He always had his team prepared, he's a fine coach," Bird said shortly after Daly's diagnosis became public.
"Chuck did a good job of keeping us together," Bird said. "It wasn't about who scored the most points, it was about one thing: winning the gold medal."
Daly humbled the NBA superstars by coaching a group of college players to victory in a controlled scrimmage weeks before the Olympics.
"I was the happiest man in the gym," Daly said afterward.
Daly also made the right moves for the Pistons, who were notorious for their physical play with Bill Laimbeer and Rick Mahorn leading the fight, Dennis Rodman making headlines and Hall of Fame guards Isiah Thomas and Dumars lifting the team to titles in 1989 and 1990.
Former Piston John Salley gave Daly the nickname Daddy Rich for his impeccably tailored suits.
Daly had a career regular-season record of 638-437 in 13 NBA seasons. In 12 playoff appearances, his teams went 75-51. He left Detroit as the Pistons' leader in regular-season and playoff victories.
"The Daly family and the entire Detroit Pistons and Palace Sports and Entertainment family is mourning the loss of Chuck Daly," family and team spokesman Matt Dobek said. "Chuck left a lasting impression with everyone he met both personally and professionally and his spirit will live with all of us forever."
Despite his success, Daly wasn't part of a Coach of the Year presentation until he handed the trophy to then-Detroit coach Rick Carlisle in 2002.
"This is as close as I've ever been to that thing," Daly said, looking at the Red Auerbach Trophy.
Born July 20, 1930, in St. Marys, Pa., Charles Jerome Daly played college ball at St. Bonaventure and Bloomsburg. After two years in the military, he coached for eight seasons at Punxsutawney (Pa.) High School and then spent six years as an assistant at Duke.
Succeeding Bob Cousy as coach at Boston College, Daly coached the Eagles to a 26-24 record over two seasons and then spent seven seasons at Pennsylvania, leading the Quakers to the Ivy League championship in 1972-75.
Daly joined the NBA coaching ranks in 1978 as an assistant under Billy Cunningham in Philadelphia. His first head coaching job was with Cleveland, but he was fired after the Cavaliers went 9-32 over the first half of the 1981-82 season.
In 1983, Daly took over a Detroit team that had never had two straight winning seasons and led the Pistons to nine straight. He persuaded the likes of Rodman, Thomas, Dumars, Mahorn and Laimbeer and to play as a unit and they responded with back-to-back championships in 1989 and 1990.
Far from being intimidated by the Pistons' Bad Boys image, Daly saw the upside of it.
"I've also had players who did not care," he said a decade later. "I'd rather have a challenging team."
After leaving Detroit, Daly took over the New Jersey Nets for two seasons and led them to the playoffs both times.
He left broadcasting to return to the bench 1997 with the Orlando Magic and won 74 games over two seasons, then retired at the age of 68 because he said he was weary of the travel.
Daly joined the Vancouver Grizzlies as a senior adviser in 2000.
In retirement, he split time between residences in Jupiter, Fla., and suburban Detroit.
The Pistons retired No. 2 to honor their former coach's two NBA titles in January 1997.
"Without you, there wouldn't be us," Mahorn said to Daly during the ceremony.
Daly is survived by his wife, Terry, as well as daughter Cydney and grandchildren Sebrina and Connor.
___
Associated Press writer Jim Irwin in Detroit and AP Sports Writer Cliff Brunt in Indianapolis contributed
AP – File - Detroit Pistons head coach Chuck Daly
yells instructions from the sidelines during game four against … .By LARRY LAGE, AP Sports Writer Larry Lage, Ap Sports Writer – 44 mins ago
DETROIT – Chuck Daly, who coached the original Dream Team to the Olympic gold medal in 1992 after winning back-to-back NBA championships with the Detroit Pistons, has died. He was 78.
He died Saturday morning in Jupiter, Fla., with his family by his side, the team said.The Pistons announced in March that the Hall of Fame coach had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and was undergoing treatment.
He was renowned for his ability to create harmony out of diverse personalities at all levels of the game, whether they were Ivy Leaguers at Pennsylvania, Dream Teamers Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley, or Pistons as dissimilar as Dennis Rodman and Joe Dumars.
"It's a players' league. They allow you to coach them or they don't," Daly once said. "Once they stop allowing you to coach, you're on your way out."
Daly was voted one of the 10 greatest coaches of the NBA's first half-century in 1996, two years after being inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame. He was the first coach to win both an NBA title and Olympic gold.
"I think Chuck understood people as well as basketball," former Pistons guard Joe Dumars told The Associated Press in 1995. "It's a people business."
Doug Collins, a former Detroit Pistons and Chicago Bulls coach, learned the intricacies of the game from Daly.
"He was a man of incredible class and dignity. He was a mentor and a friend," Collins said. "He taught me so much and was always so supportive of me and my family. I loved him and will miss him."
Daly had a golden touch at the Barcelona Games with NBA superstars Magic Johnson, Jordan, Larry Bird and Barkley, using a different lineup in every game.
"I played against Chuck's teams throughout the NBA for a lot of years. He always had his team prepared, he's a fine coach," Bird said shortly after Daly's diagnosis became public.
"Chuck did a good job of keeping us together," Bird said. "It wasn't about who scored the most points, it was about one thing: winning the gold medal."
Daly humbled the NBA superstars by coaching a group of college players to victory in a controlled scrimmage weeks before the Olympics.
"I was the happiest man in the gym," Daly said afterward.
Daly also made the right moves for the Pistons, who were notorious for their physical play with Bill Laimbeer and Rick Mahorn leading the fight, Dennis Rodman making headlines and Hall of Fame guards Isiah Thomas and Dumars lifting the team to titles in 1989 and 1990.
Former Piston John Salley gave Daly the nickname Daddy Rich for his impeccably tailored suits.
Daly had a career regular-season record of 638-437 in 13 NBA seasons. In 12 playoff appearances, his teams went 75-51. He left Detroit as the Pistons' leader in regular-season and playoff victories.
"The Daly family and the entire Detroit Pistons and Palace Sports and Entertainment family is mourning the loss of Chuck Daly," family and team spokesman Matt Dobek said. "Chuck left a lasting impression with everyone he met both personally and professionally and his spirit will live with all of us forever."
Despite his success, Daly wasn't part of a Coach of the Year presentation until he handed the trophy to then-Detroit coach Rick Carlisle in 2002.
"This is as close as I've ever been to that thing," Daly said, looking at the Red Auerbach Trophy.
Born July 20, 1930, in St. Marys, Pa., Charles Jerome Daly played college ball at St. Bonaventure and Bloomsburg. After two years in the military, he coached for eight seasons at Punxsutawney (Pa.) High School and then spent six years as an assistant at Duke.
Succeeding Bob Cousy as coach at Boston College, Daly coached the Eagles to a 26-24 record over two seasons and then spent seven seasons at Pennsylvania, leading the Quakers to the Ivy League championship in 1972-75.
Daly joined the NBA coaching ranks in 1978 as an assistant under Billy Cunningham in Philadelphia. His first head coaching job was with Cleveland, but he was fired after the Cavaliers went 9-32 over the first half of the 1981-82 season.
In 1983, Daly took over a Detroit team that had never had two straight winning seasons and led the Pistons to nine straight. He persuaded the likes of Rodman, Thomas, Dumars, Mahorn and Laimbeer and to play as a unit and they responded with back-to-back championships in 1989 and 1990.
Far from being intimidated by the Pistons' Bad Boys image, Daly saw the upside of it.
"I've also had players who did not care," he said a decade later. "I'd rather have a challenging team."
After leaving Detroit, Daly took over the New Jersey Nets for two seasons and led them to the playoffs both times.
He left broadcasting to return to the bench 1997 with the Orlando Magic and won 74 games over two seasons, then retired at the age of 68 because he said he was weary of the travel.
Daly joined the Vancouver Grizzlies as a senior adviser in 2000.
In retirement, he split time between residences in Jupiter, Fla., and suburban Detroit.
The Pistons retired No. 2 to honor their former coach's two NBA titles in January 1997.
"Without you, there wouldn't be us," Mahorn said to Daly during the ceremony.
Daly is survived by his wife, Terry, as well as daughter Cydney and grandchildren Sebrina and Connor.
___
Associated Press writer Jim Irwin in Detroit and AP Sports Writer Cliff Brunt in Indianapolis contributed
Saturday, April 25, 2009
In Some Ways, Osgood Can Be Compared to Fuhr
In Some Ways, Osgood Can Be Compared to Fuhr
By Mike Heika
April 22, 2009
Like many of you, the mention of Chris Osgood leaves me with an ``eh, good goalie on a great team’’ sort of feeling.
It is a curse Osgood is forced to carry, and one that clearly wears on him at times. But after seeing him in the playoffs last season and watching him step up against Columbus in the first round this year, I’m trying a new game in how I see the Detroit netminder.
Think about this for a few minutes -- Chris Osgood is like
http://www.versus.com/nw/article/view/78768/?tf=nhl_article.tpl
By Mike Heika
April 22, 2009
Like many of you, the mention of Chris Osgood leaves me with an ``eh, good goalie on a great team’’ sort of feeling.
It is a curse Osgood is forced to carry, and one that clearly wears on him at times. But after seeing him in the playoffs last season and watching him step up against Columbus in the first round this year, I’m trying a new game in how I see the Detroit netminder.
Think about this for a few minutes -- Chris Osgood is like
http://www.versus.com/nw/article/view/78768/?tf=nhl_article.tpl
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Path of Self-destruction
The Path of Self-destruction
March 23, 2009 Story of the Day
January 1973
Vol. 29 No. 8
MY LIFE for the first thirty-four years was a series of well-learned negative feelings and attitudes. So ingrained were these into my total personality that seven and a half years of intensive psychotherapy, plus six months in a psychiatric institute, did no more than give me self-sanction to attempt a nearly successful suicide and to sink further into severe states of depression and anxiety.
I left therapy to continue my progressive alcoholism behind the locked doors of my home, becoming addicted to tranquilizers and sedatives as well. On my not-so-merry way, I carved a perfect path of self-destruction. Quietly and insidiously, many other lives were painfully affected. On this path lie three wrecked marriages.
I always felt I was a completely worthless person. I thought I knew horrible things about myself, and I locked them up in my mind so that no one else could get a glimpse of the real me. From early childhood, I felt I was bad. Even for others' wrongdoings, I took the guilt upon myself, producing fear, anger, and hatred.
The God of my childhood, I thought, didn't want me to talk to Him. If I did turn to Him, I felt, He wouldn't protect me anyway, because it seemed He never answered my prayers--He wanted me to suffer. This great source of strength became a tool against any healthy attitude I might have developed. I didn't dare to love another human being, either, knowing that I wasn't good enough to have the love returned. Frightened, I lived in a world of silence, often wishing I were dead.
Today, as a sober, recovering alcoholic, I know that I was not victimized by society, by my environment, nor by my alcoholic parents, on whom I blamed my many failures and my mental and emotional problems. I was my own judge and jury, my own jailer. I built my own scaffold and was my own executioner, inflicting punishment upon myself at every turn.
One evening, about sixteen months ago, I put down a glass of vodka and announced aloud that somehow I had just decided I never would take another drink, that I had chosen between life and death. I said I wanted life--but only if I could learn how to live happily.
My sole friend and confidante, a nonalcoholic woman, encouraged me to call AA the following morning. My call was answered by two female AAs, one of whom drove me to meetings for a month. Grateful to be accepted as a member at my very first meeting, I read the Steps through blind, unfocused eyes. I listened as best I could, and I began to understand that these people were sober--and happy! And so I did what they suggested. I did it slowly, to be sure, but believing in them and AA. By the grace of God, my compulsion to drink left me early, and my addiction to pills was overcome by hard work with some fine sponsors and other AA friends.
After a few months, one of my sponsors said that when I was ready to take Step Four, I might head my list of character defects with "self-destruction." I was surprised and shaken at this prospect, but it propelled me to begin my search for the truth about myself. First of all, I discovered that, though I was physically sober, my behavior was still self-destructive. Through studying our AA program, attending many, many meetings, and receiving my sponsor's "first aid," I learned that my thoughts were actually the first stage of the self-destructive action. Each day (including today), I asked my Higher Power to give me the strength, courage, and hope to stay sober for that day, and to help me uncover my deeply implanted and instinctive thought processes, to make each and every thought conscious. By taking it one day at a time, I began to realize the tremendous power of my mind when working on a conscious plane with my Higher Power and the AA program. Little by little, I was able to catch those negative thoughts which invariably preceded the self-destructive action, so that I could nip them in the bud.
One day about six months ago, after a particularly upsetting incident, I found myself jotting down these words: "I couldn't accept my self-destructive feelings or actions this time around. I tried to, because it was an old, proven method of dealing with the situation, but I could not accept it. I feel gratitude for God's love and the helping hands of AA."
On the day I wrote those words, I realized that a new life had become mine. A brand-new set of attitudes and values had been born out of one fruitful year of working the suggested Twelve Steps. Difficulties do occur, but now I know that they are a part of living and, more important, that the answers to them are to be found in our AA program.
AA has given me the beautiful gift of life, with tools--the Steps--for building and maintaining happiness. I now truly enjoy my art work and oil painting, and my personal life is pleasant and gratifying. I know there is help in AA any time I reach out, as my closest AA friends have proven time and time again.
I also know that every once in a while a self-destructive thought will creep up on me, but now I recognize it for what it is, and I have learned, with help, how to deal with it. When an old negative thought does come, I tell it, "You can visit, but you can't stay!"
D. E.
Oregon
March 23, 2009 Story of the Day
January 1973
Vol. 29 No. 8
MY LIFE for the first thirty-four years was a series of well-learned negative feelings and attitudes. So ingrained were these into my total personality that seven and a half years of intensive psychotherapy, plus six months in a psychiatric institute, did no more than give me self-sanction to attempt a nearly successful suicide and to sink further into severe states of depression and anxiety.
I left therapy to continue my progressive alcoholism behind the locked doors of my home, becoming addicted to tranquilizers and sedatives as well. On my not-so-merry way, I carved a perfect path of self-destruction. Quietly and insidiously, many other lives were painfully affected. On this path lie three wrecked marriages.
I always felt I was a completely worthless person. I thought I knew horrible things about myself, and I locked them up in my mind so that no one else could get a glimpse of the real me. From early childhood, I felt I was bad. Even for others' wrongdoings, I took the guilt upon myself, producing fear, anger, and hatred.
The God of my childhood, I thought, didn't want me to talk to Him. If I did turn to Him, I felt, He wouldn't protect me anyway, because it seemed He never answered my prayers--He wanted me to suffer. This great source of strength became a tool against any healthy attitude I might have developed. I didn't dare to love another human being, either, knowing that I wasn't good enough to have the love returned. Frightened, I lived in a world of silence, often wishing I were dead.
Today, as a sober, recovering alcoholic, I know that I was not victimized by society, by my environment, nor by my alcoholic parents, on whom I blamed my many failures and my mental and emotional problems. I was my own judge and jury, my own jailer. I built my own scaffold and was my own executioner, inflicting punishment upon myself at every turn.
One evening, about sixteen months ago, I put down a glass of vodka and announced aloud that somehow I had just decided I never would take another drink, that I had chosen between life and death. I said I wanted life--but only if I could learn how to live happily.
My sole friend and confidante, a nonalcoholic woman, encouraged me to call AA the following morning. My call was answered by two female AAs, one of whom drove me to meetings for a month. Grateful to be accepted as a member at my very first meeting, I read the Steps through blind, unfocused eyes. I listened as best I could, and I began to understand that these people were sober--and happy! And so I did what they suggested. I did it slowly, to be sure, but believing in them and AA. By the grace of God, my compulsion to drink left me early, and my addiction to pills was overcome by hard work with some fine sponsors and other AA friends.
After a few months, one of my sponsors said that when I was ready to take Step Four, I might head my list of character defects with "self-destruction." I was surprised and shaken at this prospect, but it propelled me to begin my search for the truth about myself. First of all, I discovered that, though I was physically sober, my behavior was still self-destructive. Through studying our AA program, attending many, many meetings, and receiving my sponsor's "first aid," I learned that my thoughts were actually the first stage of the self-destructive action. Each day (including today), I asked my Higher Power to give me the strength, courage, and hope to stay sober for that day, and to help me uncover my deeply implanted and instinctive thought processes, to make each and every thought conscious. By taking it one day at a time, I began to realize the tremendous power of my mind when working on a conscious plane with my Higher Power and the AA program. Little by little, I was able to catch those negative thoughts which invariably preceded the self-destructive action, so that I could nip them in the bud.
One day about six months ago, after a particularly upsetting incident, I found myself jotting down these words: "I couldn't accept my self-destructive feelings or actions this time around. I tried to, because it was an old, proven method of dealing with the situation, but I could not accept it. I feel gratitude for God's love and the helping hands of AA."
On the day I wrote those words, I realized that a new life had become mine. A brand-new set of attitudes and values had been born out of one fruitful year of working the suggested Twelve Steps. Difficulties do occur, but now I know that they are a part of living and, more important, that the answers to them are to be found in our AA program.
AA has given me the beautiful gift of life, with tools--the Steps--for building and maintaining happiness. I now truly enjoy my art work and oil painting, and my personal life is pleasant and gratifying. I know there is help in AA any time I reach out, as my closest AA friends have proven time and time again.
I also know that every once in a while a self-destructive thought will creep up on me, but now I recognize it for what it is, and I have learned, with help, how to deal with it. When an old negative thought does come, I tell it, "You can visit, but you can't stay!"
D. E.
Oregon
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
